apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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