I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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