it's too hot outside to masturbate.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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