I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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