Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Dear god my vagina.
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