Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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