He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
