just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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