We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
