can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
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