I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
