I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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