i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
