i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
she pinky promised me she was 18
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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