The maid of honor just puked.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
