If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
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