Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
