Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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