I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
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forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
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oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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