im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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