so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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