yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
