the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
