there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
