Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
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