Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
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