No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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