I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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