it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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