as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize