forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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