oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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