If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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