I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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