Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
