He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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