Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You were trust falling into bushes
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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