I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
