It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
