from now on my penis is your penis
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
