toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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