sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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