found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
