I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
