I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
