If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
