i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
