So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
