I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
