Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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