so that wasnt chicken after all
another moral hangover. fuck.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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