Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
They have beer where we have blood.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
