morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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