You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
