We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
