So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
