he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
