They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
