Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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