I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
And then my night got REAL pukey
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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