I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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