I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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