problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
