im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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