If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
